User Profile

Take an already freewheeling mind, expand it with drugs, and plug it into the infinite hyperreality of the Internet.

My god, it's full of stars.

Hello, I'm Broadband Junkie. BJ, if you wish, but avoid the obvious joke. It'll just make me respect you less. You must forgive my apparent crude behavior and lack of manners, but I'm afraid I've gone and blown my mind. This results in some rather peculiar effects.

For example, I no longer believe in God or gods or even a trascendental force that guides the universe. With nobody to throw lightning bolts at me when I blaspheme, I've become an amoral existentialist. That means I won't shed a tear when my mother dies, and you'll likely condemn me to death for it. Strange, huh? I make 19th-century Russian government clerks seem like Ronald McDonald on ecstasy.

I also do not believe in the immortal soul. We are complicated, biological machines. Our consciousness is just our brain processing sensory data. We will not continue living after we die. We do not go to some afterlife, or get reincarnated. When our bodies die, our brain dies, and we simply cease to be.

You may think these thoughts depressing, but I find the transient nature of our existence beautiful. Utterly devoid of meaning, yes, but then that's the nature of beauty, innit? Our lives are flowers that bloom only once.

These things aren't a matter of faith, by the way. It's not merely something I choose to believe in. I do not have faith that there is no God or an immortal soul. I know these things for a fact, in the same way that I know that when I let go of a pencil, it will drop to the floor. Science and inductive reasoning support these. To believe otherwise, that there might always be the possibility that there is a God, is to believe that there is a possibility that when I let go of a pencil, it might turn into a bat and fly away.

This certainty also means I don't fear death. Quite literally, there's nothing to be afraid of. No eternal damnation, no judgment, no demon waiting to eat my soul. I'm quite ready to die. I don't understand why it's taking so damn long.

I do not believe in the greatest fallacy of our era: that all men are created equal. But fear not, for I won't go around shoving people into ovens and gas chambers. I respect invididual freedom and rights, including everyone's right to be stupid, facile, petty and slow on the uptake.

Do not talk to me about basketball or football or sports in general. In the words of the poet 2Pac, I don't give a fuck.

My long term goal in life is to get high, drive around, and listen to music. My tastes in music are eclectic. I dislike music that sucks. What is sucky music? Music I dislike.

I've a firm grasp on intertextuality and get turned on by people who have the same. Go on. Annotate this bio and make me hot.

I know some of you are deficient in irony, but try not to take everything I write at face value.

Still here? Good. Sit back, relax, have a toke. This journal is best viewed while high.